Hair and hormones

Went wig shopping with my mom yesterday and it wasn't too bad, still hard to believe this is happening. I tried on a variety of wigs and found one that would be fine for work, keep the hair out of my face. Mark and I will go back on Saturday to find one that HE likes as well. I don't think I will do well waking up to find hair all over my pillows or to have hair come out in clumps of my brushes. I think I'll probably shave my head at that point because it will be too heartbreaking. I know it's just hair and will grow back once I'm off chemo but it's still hard. I will however save money and time not having to wash my hair, get hair cuts, or curl my hair in the morning. I was thinking the other day how many times I've complained about how long it takes me to curl my hair each day. Now I'm trying to enjoy the little things in life before it all changes and that includes doing my hair each day. I've told Mark so many times he is very lucky to have a get-up-and-go look....I guess I'll have that too in a little bit.

Found out on Monday that my hormone levels are normal which means my one remaining ovary is working well. That was bitter sweet news....it works great and once I start radiation that will kill it. I want to go on hormones at that point and take an aspirin daily to offset the risk of blood clots. I DON'T want to go through menopause at this stage in life!!!! Not sure what Dr. Pikaart will say but I'm hoping he will go along with the plan. I never realized how much I love my estrogen until it was massively suppressed with the progesterone therapy. I'm realizing there are so many things I've taken for granted in life and I'm about to really see what it's like to be a sick person. Right now it hasn't fully set in because I don't look sick, once I have the port and my hair falls out, reality will definitely set in. I keep trying to tell myself this is only for about 6 months and then I get to go on with life. I just hope that I still feel like myself once this is all over. I hope the treatment doesn't leave my body scarred in a variety of ways. Too hard to think about much right now.