Waiting game

Saw my Dr yesterday late afternoon and she was quite upset that Dr P's office has not been taking my high fevers seriously. She too is afraid that maybe my port is infected and we talked about endocarditis (infection of the heart) as well. It's disturbing to think about all this stuff to be honest! I came home and told Mark that I do NOT want to be admitted, no matter what happens, it better be on a outpatient basis!
I woke up this morning to my Dr calling me to see if I had gotten all my tests that she had ordered done. She was not too happy to hear that I hadn't done anything but seriously, it was only 9am. When I called Dr P's office to find out if they could take cultures from my port, I found out that my Dr had already called them and wanted to speak with Dr P directly. I admit that Dr P's RN has dropped the ball in my case because they are the ones managing my port. High fevers and a central line just aren't a good mix! However, I don't want to make a big fuss over everything as believe it or not, I feel much better today. I really don't understand how I could feel this good if I truly have an infection in my bloodstream, it doesn't make sense to me. It takes several days to get blood culture results back, but since I had my port flushed today, if I start having fevers/body pain tomorrow then I will know there is an infection going on. So this waiting game starts and I'm trying to keep a lid on all the "what ifs" going on in my head. Control freaks like me are not good at waiting without our minds going a hundred miles a minute. Did I mention this year that I'm working on fear in general, not letting it dictate my decisions? I'm gonna choose to trust God in this matter because quite frankly there is nothing more I can do anyway. Worrying isn't going to bring my test results back any faster and it isn't going to change the outcome of the situation. I'm going to wait and trust that God holds this whole mess in His hands and He knows what is best for me. Meanwhile, I'll continue to pray that I DON'T have an infection and that our summer traveling plans don't have to change. Never a dull moment around here....and I've come to love dull!