The heart of a parent

We have completed our foster parenting classes this week and it has given me something to think about. The director of our agency Ross Wright, wrote a book called, "Kids in Crisis." This book talks about how to parent wounded kids and how to restore relationship with them as so many are unable to trust and bond. Ross has said many times throughout our class to never "sacrifice relationship on the alter of accountability," and it is a whole new way of thinking for me. While I believe in spanking, you are not allowed to spank foster kids for obvious reasons and I'm starting to rethink the whole spanking issue altogether. One of the goals of parenting is to have the kids value our relationship with them in a way that they wouldn't want to go against our rules/wishes. It's similar to our relationship with Christ, in the beginning of our walk with the Lord, we follow the rules because we don't want to get in trouble, but at some point it shifts to following God's rules because we don't want to break His heart or disappoint. This is a whole new way of thinking for me and I find that I'm a rule person when it comes to parenting, so I'm sure this will be a difficult challenge for me. This class has also helped me see some of  my flaws in the way I have viewed Christ; I now understand why I've thought of Him at times as a cosmic cop waiting to crack down on me when I break a rule. That is SO far from who God is or what He is all about, I'm starting to see that when I step outside of His will for me, He isn't waiting to punish me, instead it saddens Him. I have a feeling this whole parenting thing is going to force me to grow in ways I had never imagined. One thing I know for certain, growth isn't comfortable but so worth the pain in the end!