Tempting

Mark and I are in the process of filling out all the paper work that goes with the foster parent process. There is a TON of it and at times it can be very intrusive....as it should be. I talked with Mark about whether or not I should disclose everything to my past, it is VERY tempting to leave parts out. I know that some of God's greatest work comes from my past but I've been battling some of the lies that if I disclose everything, our agency will consider us too risky to work with. So to be honest, I came to the conclusion that I'll only disclose everything if asked about it because I'm not going to lie. Well, wouldn't you know it, the paper work we fill out asks about everything under the sun, they are very thorough! I know there will be a lot of questions and discussions because of some of my answers, but I'm going to trust that this is where God is leading us. At times, I still battle some of those old lies of being "damaged" because of different things in my past. I'm sure everyone deals with this on some level too. As much as I hate my list sometimes, it's what has contributed to who I am today and so I can't run from it. In many ways I can see God's fingerprints all over my "damaged"areas, I can see His healing, kindness, and loving ways. It's a bit nerve wracking and yet it's quite a relief to just put it all out there, no hiding. Mark and I feel like we are jumping off the cliff most days in this journey, it's something our cancer journey has prepared us for in many ways. The biggest difference between the two is that at that time, I felt thrown off the cliff, this time we are purposely jumping. Either way, God has always been there to catch us, guide and comfort us, so I know we are in good hands.