Monday was our one month anniversary of having Alex in our home! It's hard to believe that at this point, this is the longest period of time that he has stayed in one place. On the one hand I find that sad, on the other I'm thrilled that we are taking part in changing that record. It has been so much fun to see him grow and change--he has become a MUCH happier baby than when we first got him as we work out all the digestive kinks. Every time he smiles and laughs, my heart melts a bit more. Have I mentioned just how much I love this kid???
Mark and I have started to receive calls to take in more children and we have decided to hold off for a bit as we continue to work some things out with Alex. It is VERY hard to say no when my heart wants to say yes and rescue each child. As I hear the stories of abuse behind these kids it is absolutely heart-breaking and today I found myself angry. Most days I can focus on the fact that the parents are broken but today I really don't care about that, I'm angry that this particular girl has endured so much at such a young age. I look at Alex and I can't begin to understand how someone can purposely hurt an innocent child. I know it's not my job to be the judge of these parents, yet my heart wants to see swift justice! Today I feel burdened because I want to save all these kids yet I know that's impossible and that's not what God is calling me to do. I believe prayer is powerful....today however, it doesn't feel very powerful. Another reminder that I can't trust my feelings as I pray for these battered and broken children. I know God is keeping close account of who hurts his own and how and someday he will carry out the justice. I wish we lived in a world where kids were ALWAYS safe, no matter what!
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