Choice

Lets just say that Alex's mom is starting to struggle in her treatment which brings a whole new emotional wave to our journey. I really like his mom and my heart goes out to her but I'm totally protective of Alex and disappointed by her recent choices. Some days I don't feel like supporting her and I'm angry that she would choose other things instead of her son. I'm learning a lot about choice lately--I'm choosing to trust God in this complicated situation and in Alex's future and I'm choosing to love his mom in spite of her behavior. I realize that Mark and I are an introduction of Christ to her and I take that very seriously, I don't want to misrepresent God. I can't let my feelings dictate my behavior, not even when it comes to this little boy that I love so very much. I love Alex so much that I'll love his mom even when I don't feel like it. It's a blessing that his mom is struggling now while he is in a loving and safe environment. Things appear so messy right now but I know God is in the midst of it all and He is working in ways I can't see just yet. At times, my mantra is "I chose to trust you God, help my unbelief." I knew foster care was going to be hard and it certainly hasn't disappoint. Come quickly Lord! :)