I've been trying to prepare myself for this news when I was first told that Jez's cancer was extremely aggressive and the vet told us the likelihood that it had already spread was quite high. Several months later, I found out that I had cancer. It became my secret prayer that she make it to the one year mark, then that Jez would live through my treatment so I wouldn't have to deal with her loss at the same time. She made it and then my prayer became that she would live through the holiday season. She made it! So while I sat in the vet's clinic today and was told that Jez's cancer has metastasized to her liver, I was filled with gratitude and immense sadness. Gratitude that God granted my prayers and gave me an additional year and a half with Jez. Gratitude as the vet told me most dogs don't live past 14 days with the type of cancer and surgery she had. Gratitude for the lessons I've learned as God used my dogs to teach me a variety of things. Gratitude that God has slowly been preparing me for this moment. Basically, we must decide when to euthanize her and it's not as simple as it sounds. If her tumor bursts she will bleed out very quickly and that is not the way I want her to die. For the most part, her personality is still there and she enjoys her favorite things, so it's a difficult decision. Part of my sadness tonight is that Jez was beating the odds and it gave me a lot of hope for my own situation. I would look at her and be reminded that science doesn't know it all! Please pray for us as we make this difficult decision, I want to do the right thing at the right time. I'm really beginning to hate cancer!!!
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