Dependence

During my quiet time today it became apparent as to why I'm struggling so much lately. I'm in a season of life where God is asking me to depend on Him 100% and I don't like it. I don't really have much choice as there is so much going on in my life right now that I can't control, my attitude, however, is a different story. I'm angry because simply put I don't like the way God is handling things, it's not how I would handle them. I've been so focused on how screwed up everything appears to be that I'm probably missing what God is trying to teach me lately. I think God has been asking me to let go and give up control lately, it's not something that comes naturally to me. It's not something I like to do! I'm very aware that I can't do life on my own but I don't seem to fully accept that at heart level. I keep trying to handle my circumstances the way I think I should, become overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, and wonder where are you God? He's just waiting for me to give up, to stop struggling and wrestling for control. He's waiting for me to be still. God is a gentlemen! My inner two year has been working overtime so far this year and it's no wonder I'm so miserable! Help me to give up Lord, help me to stop, to let go, be still.