Day 5 Cycle 2

Trying to document how each cycle goes in the hopes of finding patterns:
I am SO tired this chemo cycle and was told this would probably happen. I am still able to clean, cook, and do the things most important to me, it just takes me longer. I am thankful I can do things for myself still as I don't want to be a burden.
The other fun changes I'm noticing is that chemo is affecting my bowels and I'm starting to get waves of nausea. Both of these symptoms are not bad and do not require meds and I hope it stays that way.
I struggle the most with water. I'm a coffee drinker and always seem to border on dehydration, so the fact that I'm supposed to drink tons of water on chemo is not appealing to me. Not to mention that for days after chemo water tastes bad, it has become a major struggle to drink it. So far mixing water with Sprite or Propel seems to help but just barely. I know this is vital for my kidneys and so I've given up coffee for now, because the thought of drinking extra water to replace the coffee just isn't worth it. What seems to help me when I can't stand water is eating soup (because it's got water) and hot chocolate. It may not be a balanced diet but it's what works for now.

I have fallen in love with fresh air and didn't realize how much I missed it until I was confined to the house post-op. There are days where I honestly feel like staying on the couch all day and having a pity party, but once I take a walk outside, my whole outlook and mood is better. Fresh air is therapeutic and once I start working again, I will do whatever I can to help my patients get outside. Walking the dogs the other day, I realized how fortunate I am to be doing treatment during this season of the year. I can't imagine going through all this during the dead of winter!

Cancer is a humbling experience, there is no way an individual can do this by themselves. It's very hard for me to ask for help until I'm drowning but I'm rapidly learning to ask. My wonderful small group keeps reminding me that by not asking for help, I rob others of their blessing.....that's a different way to look at it. I'm very blessed to have family and friends who are willing to help me out any way that they can. We were provided a meal this week and told another meal will be coming and at first I felt guilty. Today I'm capable of cooking and am starting to feel better but it's taken me all day to clean one level of the house and I'm exhausted. I'm very thankful I don't have to cook tonight or watch Mark cook something for himself as he already works hard enough. So I'm letting go of the guilt and saving up my energy to do other things.