This is the last week that the chemo will be working in my body killing all rapidly dividing cells (both good or bad). I'm starting to get excited about this because I don't have to go back for more at this point and God willing ever again. I'm starting to think about my hair growing back as it already has been doing so, although, you would have to be up close to see it at this point. I get to start all over and think about what kind of hair style do I want, it's starting to become exciting for me. It's a myth that chemo causes your hair to fall out at the same time, it all depends on where each hair follicle is at and I've got many that are outlasting this last three cycles of chemo. Hence, I still have some eyebrows and eyelashes which I'm VERY thankful for and praise God each time I put mascara on. I'm learning to celebrate the little things in life which is a good thing I suppose. I'm starting to let post-cancer thoughts enter which is a bit odd because it feels like forever since I thought about non-cancer stuff. While there are a ton of fears under the surface, I'm clinging to God's promises and most days keeping them in check. I'm sure I'll have my freak out moments but trying to keep those to a minimum.
So the plan is as follows: another blood test this week as my liver is showing it's irritated and that's normal, and to check my blood sugars as I've been in the 40's-50's consistently although I seem to function pretty well with low blood sugars. Then in a month I will have a chest/abdomen/pelvic CT to see if any cancer cells are starting to regrow. I have to be honest, I was a bit taken aback when they said I would have a chest CT as I expected the other part. It's bothersome to me because I know they are looking to see if any cancer cells pop up in the lungs. Sometimes this whole ordeal still doesn't feel real to me, until I go through some tests or the doctor says something that snaps me back into reality. I had a cancer cell in the lymph node so this could have traveled anywhere...and hopefully it's eradicated now. Then it's surgery in December to take out that remaining ovary and take one last look at everything. Then I will celebrate as I hope it's just maintenance checks from that point forward. Here's my take-away about God from my cancer journey so far--God is good all the time, He has a plan and purpose for everything we go through. I really doubted God's goodness prior to cancer, I wasn't sure He could be trusted. I'm not perfect in the trusting department but my faith muscles have really grown since my diagnosis. What I once thought had the potential to break my relationship with God has actually strengthened it and made God very real to me today. So, believe it not, good things can come from cancer. I was talking with another Christian women at the beginning of her cancer journey and we were talking about how there are certain "gifts" you get from this diagnosis. Your perspective changes, you realize how fragile life is, how big God is, how important time and people become just to name a few. Only those that stare death in the face get these gifts and it's quite a blessing.
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