Working with cancer patients

I'm getting back into work and have found myself in the area of oncology. Honestly, I would never have chosen this area but God has placed me here for now as my body heals from everything. My passion is ICU and I WANT to get back to it as soon as I can but I know that right now, I wouldn't be able to keep up with that pace or level of stress. For the next couple of months I'll be working in radiation oncology...does God has a sense of humor or what! Remember which part of my treatment I hated/feared the most, now I'm working there! It's actually going better than I expected and my coworkers are wonderful. I love the moments where I'm able to advise patients based on my own radiation experience and hope it truly helps improve their own journey. What I find difficult about working in oncology is the moments that I'm reminded how rare, aggressive, and difficult my type of cancer is to treat. It's those moments that fear creeps in and really goes wild, and at times it's very hard to keep it all in check. I know that God is in control of everything but my fear stems from will he allow my cancer to return or not respond to treatment? We did such an aggressive treatment that if it doesn't work, I will require some type of lifelong treatment until one day, the cancer wins. I'm not sure I'm willing to do treatment for the rest of my life either. I'm not afraid to die because I know exactly where I'll go and who doesn't want that, I'm more afraid of the dying process as cancer can be very painful despite all the drugs we have available to us. And I worry about those that I will leave behind.....what will happen to their own faith, how will they do, those kind of things. People always ask me if it's too soon to work in oncology and I don't know, it's where God placed me for now so I haven't given it much thought. We shall see what comes from this experience.