Radiation treatment

Went in on Monday, layed on the table and was ready to start treatment, and as I listened to the technicians conversation I realized they were not going to give me radiation. When I asked, I was told this was a "dry run" to make sure the plans were correct and everything was in place. I'm all for being accurate but I would have appreciated some communication about this as I spent Monday morning working myself up for this to start. I left there a bit frustrated by the fact that I would go through this whole emotional roller coaster one more time! They did however, provide some teaching after the "dry run" to help prepare me for possible side effects and we discussed diet as that can become a big issue with radiation. Even though the pelvic region is the main area for radiation, the bowels and bladder take a bit of a hit as well. I was told early on not to eat fiber during radiation but that is my diet so I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I was also told not to lose any weight and to try and eat some extra protein. I bluntly told my nurse that if I can't eat fiber, there is no way I will go through treatment without some weight loss. To my surprise, I was instructed to continue to eat the way I have been eating and it's only if I start to have diarrhea that I will have to change things drastically. Because I already have IBS the odds that I will have bowel issues are quite high but I'm praying for protection on this one!
So Tuesday was the start of actual radiation which only takes about 10 mins or so. They take an x-ray each day and then radiation begins and you can always tell because the machine makes a beeping noise the entire time. I pretty much pray for the technicians and for protection while I get treated and then it's over, you really don't feel anything. I was told that I probably wouldn't have any side effects until the 10th or 14th treatment because radiation is cumulative. About an hour after being home I started to feel nauseated and thought it was due to not eating much beforehand, plus nerves. However, throughout Tuesday night the nausea became worse and I became worried. I told Mark I either have a bug or I'm already having a reaction to radiation! By Wednesday morning the nausea was worse and I started vomiting, I wasn't sure I would be able to make it to treatment. It was not a good feeling! Of course my mind started with all the "what ifs," Are they giving me too high a dose? Am I extremely sensitive to radiation? Will I be able to lay still on the table for another dose? Am I going to be able to do this? etc. Fortunately I was able to get the radiation and after discussing with my "team" what I was experiencing, they felt I had a bug and my symptoms had nothing to do with radiation. I was relieved because I simply want to get this portion of treatment over with and the only way to do that is to continue one day at a time. I still have mixed feelings about radiation and I can't say that I'm happy about slowly killing my remaining ovary. I hope it is stubborn and continues to work much longer than they anticipate! In the meantime I wait, wait for side effects and for menopause to hit. There is a strange peace about this waiting period....there is nothing I can do at this point and so I wait for God to show up big (because I'm praying He shows up big) through radiation.
I'm still dealing with some nausea but today is much better than yesterday. I have a total of 25 treatments (which sounds much better than 5 weeks of treatment) and after today, I'll have 22 more to go. This just might be doable.