It's day 7 of cycle 3 and I would say that this is the first day that I really feel more like myself again. My body has been sore much longer this time around and I have been exhausted this cycle as well. That's all expected though, just makes me a bit happier to have a break from chemo. I almost forgot to get my blood test today as my mind is rapidly shifting to radiation. I have complained so much about my wigs so I thought I would share something positive for a change. While signing in to the lab for blood work and with a waiting room full of people, the women checking me in starts telling me how much she loves the color of my hair and went on for a bit about it (I wore the red wig today because I felt like I needed some color). I was so taken off guard that I stood there speechless for a few seconds as I debated whether or not to tell her it was a wig. Had the waiting room been empty I would have told her, but this was one of those days where I didn't want people knowing my story.....so I simply said "thank you" and had a private chuckle.
I met a women who was diagnosed with cancer at 31 and so asked her questions about her menopause experience. It's not very often I meet someone else my age who is going through this experience. She gave me some great tips as HRT is out of the question for her as well, basically she gave me some hope. It was later on in the conversation that I heard her whole cancer story and it changed my perspective on my own situation. At 31 she was diagnosed with stage 3 papillary serous ovarian cancer and went through chemo. She is now 36 and this is her third cancer recurrence and with each diagnosis her chemo becomes harsher. Papillary serous essentially means a rare, aggressive form of cancer that sometimes does not respond to treatment without any warning. No one wants to hear papillary serous in regards to cancer! If you could choose between uterine or ovarian cancer, uterine is ALWAYS the better cancer for a variety of reasons. Her story really touched me because I caught a glimpse of God's hand and I immediately felt badly for the way I had reacted after my own diagnosis. I was SO angry to find out I had uterine cancer and I felt betrayed by God because there are other organs that we have two of...and I wanted to use my uterus. There were many days in the beginning that I wished it had been my ovary (before I understood how dangerous ovarian cancer can be) because lets face it, I could spare one of those and not have it impact my life too much. Had my cancer been ovarian instead of uterine my prognosis would be much worse than it is. The odds of this young women ever being cancer-free is not good and the odds of her becoming an old lady aren't that great. I was humbled and found myself thankful that many times God doesn't give us what WE want or think is best for ourselves. Had God granted my wish those many months ago, my situation would be so much worse!
I've also been thinking about how my blood clot years ago was disguised as a blessing. Not only did it lead to finding out I have Factor V but had I been able to stay on birth control, it probably would have taken me a lot longer to realize that something was wrong. I have a very aggressive type of cancer and I would hate to think what would have happened had it more time to spread and grow! God's ways are not our ways.....and today, I'm very thankful for that fact!
No comments:
Post a Comment